CoronaVirus and the dire threat of anal infection

A Breaking News Report claims that scientists have confirmed our worst fear, the Novel CoronaVirus has now evolved and is targeting entry through one’s anal orifice.


The good news is this may indicate that masks are hindering infection.
However the bad news is one may now need to wear a protective device to prevent rectal infection.

Reports indicate that symptoms are wildly different than if the CoronaVirus enters through the mouth or nose. Which often results in respiratory distress and fits of coughing.
If infection is achieved rectally one may suffer extreme gastrointestinal distress which may include explosive diarrhea, bursts of flatulence and leaky bowel syndrome. In severe cases, patients report that elimination reverses course, feeding back through the system, spewing excrement profusely from the mouth.

This has the potential to be a serious threat...

Scientists advise, in addition to wearing a face mask that one also employ an approved anal protection plug. One that shoots disinfectant lasers to ward off any persistent pathogens would be ideal.

This will also make it easier for enforcement officers to inspect your plug once the governor issues the new impending mandate...


"It's for your safety".




Some sources claim that this is the real reason they were forced to cancel the “Testicle Festival”…

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